Before the banter years, there was Max Allegri's Milan
It’s the 14th of May 2011. Maurizio Ciampi blows his whistle and gestures towards the San Siro tunnel.
No one is heading that way, of course, as the end of a 4-1 rout of Cagliari signals the beginning of Milan’s eighteenth Scudetto celebrations, the end of Inter’s run of five successive league wins and the end of Milan’s seven year title drought (despite a minor detour to two Champions League finals along the way).
Two second half substitutes shared an intimate embrace on the halfway line; Filippo Inzaghi and Andrea Pirlo.
The 2010/11 Scudetto would be the final trophy that the iconic pair would win with the Rossoneri and would kickstart an unthinkable eleven years without silverware for the club. The magic that seemed to follow Milan for decades prior was finally coming to an end.
Twelve months later Filippo would be retired; Andrea would be experiencing a professional rebirth in Turin for eternal rivals Juventus, and Milan would be in the early stages of one of the most lacklustre eras in the club’s history.
The years following that success were a difficult time for Milan, with ten managers in as many years, three of which were members of the 2011 league-winning squad.
Clarence Seedorf, Filippo Inzaghi and Gennaro Gattuso were part of the long list of bosses who failed to stem the mediocrity bleeding from the club. Several mid-table finishes followed, the worst a 10th place in the 2014/15 season.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKpEVKLSoVY
Milan were a squad in transition at the time of the 2011 league win, blending in new talent such as Alexandre Pato, Robinho, Kevin-Price Boateng, Zlatan Ibrahimović and Thiago Silva while phasing out other club legends such as Clarence Seedorf, Alessandro Nesta, Gennaro Gattuso, Gianluca Zambrotta and, crucially, Ronaldinho.
The Brazilian talisman departed in January for Flamengo after making just eleven league appearances in the 2010/2011 season, bringing an end to the European career of one of the greatest players to ever grace football and henceforth making every Pepsi advert much worse.
You’d be forgiven for thinking the removal of a figure of that magnitude from your team mid-season would hinder your title chances but, in this instance, no.
Ibrahimović arrived on a one year loan from Barcelona in August 2010, his third Italian club after Juventus and city rivals Inter. Zlatan's return to Milan came after a very difficult time in Spain.
Barcelona had signed him in 2009 for a huge £62.5m. The Swedish striker and manager Pep Guardiola took an almost immediate dislike to each other and they spent the entire season completely at odds, causing the Spanish club to eventually take an embarrassing £41m loss on the transfer. Zlatan later spoke publicly about the frosty relationship he shares with the now Manchester City boss:
“When you buy me, you are buying a Ferrari. If you drive a Ferrari, you put premium petrol in the tank, you hit the motorway and you step on the gas.
"Guardiola filled up with diesel and took a spin in the countryside. He should have bought a Fiat.”
Zlatan came back to Serie A with a point to prove and he certainly played like it, scoring 22 goals and providing twelve assists in all competitions, becoming a crucial player for Massimiliano Allegri’s Milan side.
Milan showed little sign of faltering throughout the whole campaign, only experiencing defeat on four occasions.
The final of which came two months before the end of the season, when veteran Mark Van Bommel broke from his defensive line and played Dorin Goian very much onside and the Rossoneri fell to a 1-0 away defeat to Palermo, opening a small door of opportunity for the teams queueing up in wait of a Milan slip-up.
The same door that youngster Alexandre Pato triumphantly booted closed two weeks later by scoring just 42 seconds into a derby di Milano, which saw A.C. run out 3-0 victors, putting them in the driving seat for the Scudetto.
The feeling in Milan was that their team of the mid to late 2000s should've achieved much more on their own turf, and it's hard to disagree. Dida, Jankulovski, Paolo Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Massimo Ambrosini, Pirlo, Gattuso, Seedorf, Kaka, Inzaghi (excluding a cup tied Ronaldo Nazário) make up the most common starting eleven for the 2006/2007 Champions league winning season.
The Carlo Ancelotti team of superstars adorned his Christmas tree formation like Galactico baubles but couldn't quite string together the consistency of brilliance required to win their domestic league; they finished fourth instead, alongside a 5-3 loss to Roma in the Coppa Italia final.
A bit underwhelming, really, but you could make an argument for them being one of the best club sides in the history of football. Allegri's team of 2011 were undoubtedly less talented, less iconic and less fun than many of its preceding incarnations; but they achieved what hadn't been done since 2004; they won the league.
Allegri’s Milan were defined by their consistency. A season managed with composure rather than spectacle. As we’ve come to expect with Allegri, he didn’t overhaul or revolutionise, he steadied. A slow rumble toward success.
The feeling of inevitability that we came to expect from his subsequent Juventus sides. In a club used to noise, Allegri lowered the volume, creating a team with shape and clarity. Let others slip up, be consistent and have a very good striker. The Allegri way. Some would say that it’s not romantic, but it is effective.
Which, if you love football, is romantic in itself.